My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
All Commentaries on Job 10:1 Go To Job 10
Gregory The Dialogist
AD 604
My soul is weary of my life.
65. Now whensoever the present life has once begun to grow tasteless, and the love of the Creator to become sweet, the soul inflames itself against self, that it may accuse self for the sins, wherein it formerly vindicated itself, being ignorant of the things above. Whence he yet further adds with propriety,
I will let my speech go against myself.
66. He as it were employs his speech in behalf of himself, who tries to defend by excuses the evil things he has done. But he ‘lets his speech go against himself,’ who begins to accuse himself of that which he has done amiss. Now very frequently even when we commit sin, we go on to try the things we have done. The mind of itself brings what it does to trial; but forasmuch as it does not at all forsake this in the desire, it is ashamed to acknowledge what it has done; but when it now comes down upon the indulgence of the flesh with the whole weight of its judgment, it lifts itself with a bold voice in the acknowledgment of that self-accusing. Whence it is rightly said here, I will let my speech go against myself; in that the resolute mind begins to let loose against itself words of abhorrence, which aforetime from a feeling of shame it kept to itself through weakness. But there be some that confess their sins in explicit words, but yet know nothing how to bewail in confessing them. And they utter things with pleasure, that they ought to bewail. Hence it is further added with propriety;
I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
67. He that tells his sins abhorring them, must needs likewise ‘speak of them in the bitterness of his soul,’ that that very bitterness may punish whatsoever the tongue accuses of in the warrant of conscience. But we must bear in mind, that from the pains of penitence, which the mind inflicts upon itself, it derives a certain degree of security; and rises with the greater confidence to meet the inquest of the heavenly Judge, that it may make itself out more thoroughly, and ascertain how each particular is appointed towards, it.
