He that loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
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Augustine of Hippo
AD 430
Let a father say, “Love me.” Let a mother say, “Love me.” To these words I will say, “Be silent.” But isn’t what they are asking for just Shouldn’t I give back what I have received? The father says, “I fathered you.” The mother says, “I bore you.” The father says, “I educated you.” The mother says, “I fed you.” … Let us answer our father and mother when they justly say “love us.” Let us answer, “I will love you in Christ, not instead of Christ. You will be with me in him, but I will not be with you without him.” “But we don’t care for Christ,” they say. “And I care for Christ more than I care for you. Should I obey the ones who raised me and lose the One who created me?” Sermon a..
For he had previously said, “I have not come to bring peace but a sword.” He adds that he has divided people against father and mother and relatives, so that no one will place familial loyalty before religion. He says, “He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.” We also read in the Song of Songs, “He established love in me.” We must preserve this order in all our relations. Love your father, your mother, your sons. If a time comes when love for a parent and for the children of God are in conflict and both cannot be maintained, then forthright rejection of your family may be a higher form of familial loyalty in relation to God. .
He said this to bring fathers to greater gentleness and children to greater freedom, just at the point where love might be most tempted to hinder them. He bids parents not to attempt what is impossible by assuming that their love of their children can be rightly compared with their love toward God. He instructs the children not to attempt what is impossible by seeking to make their love of parents greater than their love of God. Then lest his hearers should become riled or count this saying as too demanding, see how he turns the argument even further in a more drastic direction. For after saying “who hates not father and mother,” he even adds, “and his own life!” So do not compare love of God merely with love of parents, brothers and sisters and wife. If you are serious, compare it with the love of your very life. For nothing is dearer to you than your life. Yet if you are also not ready to give up this love, in all things you must bear the opposite lot. The Gospel of Matthew, Homily
Do you see a teacher's dignity? Do you see, how He signifies himself a true Son of Him that begot Him, commanding us to let go all things beneath, and to take in preference the love of Him?
And why speak I, says He, of friends and kinsmen? Even if it be your own life which you prefer to my love, your place is far from my disciples. What then? Are not these things contrary to the Old Testament? Far from it, rather they are very much in harmony therewith. For there too He commands not only to hate the worshippers of idols, but even to stone them; and in Deuteronomy again, admiring these, He says, Who said unto his father, and to his mother, I have not seen you; neither did he acknowledge his brethren, and his own sons he disowned: he kept Your oracles. Deuteronomy 33:9 And if Paul gives many directions touching parents, commanding us to obey them in all things, marvel not; for in those things only does he mean us to obey, as many as do not hinder godliness. For indeed it is a sacred d...
Do you see when it is that we must hate our parents and children? When they want us to love them more than Christ. And why should I speak of father, mother, and children? Hear what is even greater than this:
