Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone: if he shall hear you, you have gained your brother.
All Commentaries on Matthew 18:15 Go To Matthew 18
John Chrysostom
AD 407
For, since He had used vehement language against them that cause offense, and on every hand had moved them to fear; in order that the offended might not in this way on the other hand become supine, neither supposing all to be cast upon others, should be led on to another vice, soften in themselves, and desiring to be humored in everything, and run upon the shoal of pride; do you see how He again checks them also, and commands the telling of the faults to be between the two alone, lest by the testimony of the many he should render his accusation heavier, and the other, become excited to opposition, should continue incorrigible.
Wherefore He says, Between you and him alone, and, If he shall hear you, you have gained your brother. What is, If he shall hear you? If he shall condemn himself, if he shall be persuaded that he has done wrong.
You have gained your brother. He did not say, You have a sufficient revenge, but, You have gained your brother, to show that there is a common loss from the enmity. For He said not, He has gained himself only, but, thou too hast gained him, whereby He showed that both the one and the other were losers before this, the one of his brother, the other of his own salvation.
This, when He sat on the mount also, He advised; at one time bringing him who has given the pain to him that had been pained, and saying, Be reconciled to your brother, and at another commanding him that had been wronged to forgive his neighbor. For He taught men to say, Forgive us our debts, like as we forgive our debtors. Matthew 6:12
But here He is devising another mode. For not him that gave the pain, does He now call upon, but him that was pained He brings to this one. For because this who has done the wrong would not easily come to make excuse, out of shame, and confusion of face, He draws that other to him, and not merely so, but in such way as also to correct what has been done. And He says not, Accuse, nor Charge him, nor Demand satisfaction, and an account, but, Tell him of his fault, says He. For he is held in a kind of stupor through anger and shame with which he is intoxicated; and thou, who art in health, must go your way to him that is ill, and make the tribunal private, and the remedy such as may be readily received. For to say, Tell him of his fault, is nothing else than Remind him of his error, tell him what you have suffered at his hand, which very thing, if it be done as it ought, is the part of one making excuse for him, and drawing him over earnestly to a reconciliation.