Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if indeed I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
All Commentaries on Philippians 3:12 Go To Philippians 3
John Chrysostom
AD 407
Not that I have already obtained. What means already obtained? He speaks of the prize, but if he who had endured such sufferings, he who was persecuted, he who had in him the dying of the Lord Jesus, was not yet confident about that resurrection, what can we say? What means, if I may apprehend? What he before said, If I may attain to the resurrection of the dead. 2 Corinthians 4:10 If I may apprehend, he says, His resurrection; i.e. if I may be able to endure so great things, if I may be able to imitate Him, if I may be able to become conformed to Him. For example, Christ suffered many things, He was spit upon, He was stricken, was scourged, at last He suffered what things he suffered. This is the entire course. Through all these things it is needful that men should endure the whole contest, and so come to His resurrection. Or he means this, if I am thought worthy to attain the glorious resurrection, which is a matter of confidence, in order to His resurrection. For if I am able to endure all the contests, I shall be able also to have His resurrection, and to rise with glory. For not as yet, says he, am I worthy, but I press on, if so be that I may apprehend. My life is still one of contest, I am still far from the end, I am still distant from the prize, still I run, still I pursue. And He said not, I run, but I pursue. For you know with what eagerness a man pursues. He sees no one, he thrusts aside with great violence all who would interrupt his pursuit. He collects together his mind, and sight, and strength, and soul, and body, looking to nothing else than the prize. But if Paul, who so pursued, who had suffered so many things, yet says, if I may attain, what should we say, who have relaxed our efforts? Then to show that the thing is of debt, he says, For which also I was apprehended by Christ Jesus. I was, he says, of the number of the lost, I gasped for breath, I was near dead, God apprehended me. For He pursued us, when we fled from Him, with all speed. So that he points out all those things; for the words, I was apprehended, show the earnestness of Him who wishes to apprehend us, and our great aversion to Him, our wandering, our flight from Him.
So that we are liable for a vast debt, and no one grieves, no one weeps, no one groans, all having returned to their former state. For as before the appearance of Christ we fled from God, so now also. For we can flee from God, not in place, for He is everywhere; and hear the Prophet, when he says, Whither shall I go from Your Spirit, or whither shall I flee from Your presence? Psalm 139:7 How then can we flee from God? Even as we can become distant from God, even as we can be removed afar off. They that are far from You, it says, shall perish. Psalm 73:27 And again, Have not your iniquities separated between Me and you? Isaiah 59:2 How then comes this removal, how comes this separation? In purpose and soul: for it cannot be in place. For how could one fly from Him who is everywhere present? The sinner then flies. This is what the Scripture says, The wicked flees when no man pursues him. Proverbs 28:1 We eagerly fly from God, although He always pursues us. The Apostle hasted, that he might be near Him. We haste, that we may be far off.
Are not these things then worthy of lamentation? Are they not worthy of tears? Whither do you fly, wretched and miserable man? Whither do you fly from your Life and your Salvation? If you fly from God, with whom will you take refuge? If you fly from the Light, whither will you cast your eyes? If you fly from your Life, whence will you henceforth live? Let us fly from the enemy of our Salvation! Whenever we sin we fly from God, we are as runaways, we depart to a foreign land, as he who consumed his paternal goods and departed into a foreign land, who wasted all his father's substance, and lived in want. We too have substance from our Father; and what is this? He has freed us from our sins; He has freely given to us power, strength for works of virtue; He has freely given to us readiness, patience; He has freely given to us the Holy Ghost in our baptism; if we waste these things we shall henceforth be in want. For as the sick, as long as they are troubled with fevers, and badness of their juices, are unable to arise or work, or do anything, but if any one sets them free, and brings them to health, if they then work not, this comes from their own sloth; thus too is it with us. For the disease was heavy and the fever excessive. And we lay not upon a bed, but upon wickedness itself, cast away in crime, as on a dunghill, full of sores, and evil odors, squalid, wasting away, more like ghosts than men. Evil spirits encompassed us about, the Prince of this world deriding and assaulting us; the Only-Begotten Son of God came, sent forth the rays of His Presence, and straightway dispelled the darkness. The King, who is on His Father's throne, came to us, having left His Father's throne. And when I say having left, think not of any removal, for He fills the heavens and the earth, but I speak of the economy; He came to an enemy, who hated Him, who turned himself away, who could not endure to behold Him, who blasphemed Him every day. He saw him lying on a dunghill, eaten with worms, afflicted with fever and hunger, having every sort of disease; for both fever vexed him, which is evil desire; and inflammation lay heavy on him, this is pride; and gnawing hunger had hold of him, which is covetousness; and putrefying sores on every side, for this is fornication; and blindness of eyes, which is idolatry; and dumbness, and madness, which is to worship stocks and stones, and address them; and great deformity, for wickedness is this, foul to behold, and a most heavy disease. And he saw us speaking more foolishly than the mad, and calling stocks our God, and stones likewise; He saw us in such great guilt, he did not reject us; was not angry, turned not away, hated us not, for He was a Master, and could not hate His own creation. But what does he do? As a most excellent physician, He prepares medicines of great price, and Himself tastes them first. For He Himself first followed after virtue, and thus gave it to us. And He first gave us the washing, like some antidote, and thus we vomited up all our guilt, and all things took their flight at once, and our inflammation ceased, and our fever was quenched, and our sores were dried up. For all the evils which are from covetousness, and anger, and all the rest, were dissipated by the Spirit. Our eyes were opened, our ears were opened, our tongue spoke holy words: our soul received strength, our body received such beauty and bloom, as it is like that he who is born a son of God should have from the grace of the Spirit; such glory as it is like that the new-born son of a king should have, nurtured in purple. Alas! How great nobility did He confer on us!
We were born, we were nurtured, why do we again fly from our Benefactor? He then, who has done all these things, gives us strength too, for it was not possible, for a soul bowed down by the disease to endure it, did not He Himself give us the strength. He gave us remission of our sins. We devoured all things. He gave us strength, we wasted it. He gave us grace, we quenched it; and how? We consumed it upon nought that was fitting, we used it for no useful end. These things have destroyed us, and what is more dreadful than all, when we are in a foreign country, and feeding on husks, we say not, Let us return to our Father, and say, We have sinned against Heaven, and against You. Luke 15:18 And that too, when we have so loving a Father, who eagerly desires our return. If we will only return to Him, He does not even bear to call in question our former deeds, only let us quit them. It is sufficient apology with Him, that we have returned. Not only He Himself calls not in question, but if another does so, He stops his mouth, though the accuser be one of good repute. Let us return! How long do we stand afar off? Let us perceive our dishonor, let us be sensible of our vileness. Sin makes us swine, sin brings famine to the soul; let us regain ourselves, and be sober again, and return to our former high birth, that we may obtain the good things which are to come, in Christ Jesus our Lord, with whom to the Father together with the Holy Spirit be glory, might, honor, now and ever and world without end.
