Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
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Ambrose of Milan
AD 397
We have here the message of the Scriptures which declares: “Children, love your fathers; parents, do not provoke your children to anger.” Nature has implanted in beasts the instinct to love their own brood and hold dear their own progeny. But the beasts know nothing of relationsinlaw. Here, parents do not become estranged from their offspring by the act of changing their mates. They know nothing of preferences given to children of a later union to the neglect of those of a former marriage. They are conscious of the value of their pledges and are unacquainted with distinctions in respect to love, to incentives due to hate and to discriminations in acts that involve wrongdoing. Wild creatures have a nature that is simple and one which has no concern in the perversion of truth. And so the Lord has ordained that those creatures to whom he has bestowed a minimum of reason are endowed with the maximum of feeling.
Subjects are to be admonished in one way, superiors in another, but the former in such a way that subjection may not crush them; the latter, that their exalted position may not lift them up; the former; that they should not do less than is ordered; the latter, that they should not command more than is just; the former, that they submit with humility; the latter, that they be moderate in the exercise of their superiority. For it is said to the former, and this can be understood figuratively: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.” But superiors are commanded: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.” Let the former learn to order their interior dispositions before the eyes of the hidden Judge; the others, how to set outwardly the example of a good life to those committed to them.
Again here Paul mentions submission and love. And he did not say, “Love your children,” for this would have been unnecessary, seeing that nature itself causes us to do so. Rather he corrected what needed correction; that the love shown in this case should be much stronger, because the obedience commanded is greater. Here Paul does not use the example of a husband and wife. Instead, hear the prophet saying, “Like a father pities his children, so the Lord pitied those that fear him.”
Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged.
Lo! Again here also is subjection and love. And he said not, Love your children, for it had been superfluous, seeing that nature itself constrains to this; but what needed correction he corrected; that the love should in this case also be the more vehement, because that the obedience is greater. For it nowhere lays down as an exemplification the relation of husband and wife; but what? Hear the prophet saying, Like as a father pities his children, so the Lord pitied them that fear Him Psalm 103:13, Septuagint And again Christ says, What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? Matthew 7:9
Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged.
He has set down what he knew had the greatest power to seize upon them; and while commanding them he has spoken more like a friend; and nowhere does he mention God, for he would overcome...
