Let not a widow be put on the list under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man,
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Ambrose of Milan
AD 397
It is not that old age alone makes the widow. Rather the virtues of the widow may become the duties of old age. For she certainly is the more prone to virtue who represses the heat of youth and the impetuous ardor of youthful age, coveting neither the tenderness of a husband nor the abundant delights of children. She rises above one who, now worn out in body, cold in age, of ripe years, can neither grow warm with pleasures nor hope for offspring.
Not under threescore years of age. Some think he speaks only of such a widow as was placed over all the rest: but the common exposition is of all such widows as were maintained in that manner, who made a vow of chastity, who assisted the ministers of the Church in looking to the poor, and in the administering baptism to women.
Who hath been the wife of one husband; i.e. hath never been married but once. (Witham)
He had said, Let them learn first to show piety at home, and to requite their parents. He had also said, She that lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. He had said, If she provides not for her own she is worse than an infidel. Having mentioned the qualities which not to have would render a woman unworthy to be reckoned among the widows, he now mentions what she ought to have besides. What then? Are we to receive her for her years? What merit is there in that? It is not her own doing that she is threescore years old. Therefore he does not speak of her age merely, as, if she has even reached those years, she may not yet, he says, without good works, be reckoned among the number. But why then is he particular about the age? He afterwards assigns a cause not originating with himself, but with the widows themselves. Meanwhile let us hear what follows. Well reported of for good works, if she have brought up children. Truly, it is no unimportant work to bring up children; but bringing th...
But why does he discourage second marriages? Is the thing condemned? By no means. That is heretical. Only he would have her henceforth occupied in spiritual things, transferring all her care to virtue. For marriage is not an impure state but one of much occupation. He speaks of their having leisure, not of their being more pure by remaining unmarried.
It is possible to be a widow and not be enrolled in the rank of widows, as when a woman has not as yet accepted this way of life…. Paul allows the uncommitted woman to remarry if she so desires. But he strongly admonishes the one who has professed perpetual widowhood to God but then has later gotten married, because she has treated superficially her commitment to God.
So far as we can, let us love the opportunity of continence. As soon as it offers itself, let us resolve to accept it, so that what one may not have had the strength to follow in matrimony one may now follow in widowhood. Continence in widowhood transcends the command that has previously been necessary for marriage. How detrimental to faith, how obstructive to holiness, second marriages are. The discipline of the church and the prescription of the apostle also declare this, when he does not permit men twice married to preside over a church. The same is true when he would not grant a widow admittance into an order unless she had been “the wife of one man.”
Choose your "widows not under sixty years of age".
Let the deaconess be a pure virgin; or, at the least, a widow who has been but once married, faithful, and well esteemed.
